…let me let you in on how things work around here:
1. Doctor is leaving show. BOO! ANGER! GRIEF!
2. Search for new Doctor begins. EXCITEMENT! SUSPICION!
3. America makes a list of the handful of Brit actors doing lots of movies and tv shows whose names we know and demands they become the Doctor next because we like them and Great Britain has no other actors ever.
4. Actor we’ve never heard of is cast. BOO! ANGER! LOOKS WEIRD! UGLY!
5. Internet weeps for golden days of previous Doctor
6. New Doctor arrives. INITIAL SUSPICION! ACCEPTANCE!
7. Doctor is really good and was cast for a reason. SHOCKING!
“No homo,” I whisper tearfully, cradling the dead body of the last homosexual on earth. there is no more homo. the last of his kind, and he was murdered. i will get revenge. the hunt is on.