1. Never give a raptor a gun.
2. Don’t hide in a tree, because the raptor will think you’re hunting from above and will have no choice but to hunt you back.
3. Carry a small ziploc bag full of meat. When attacked by a raptor, feed it the meat.
4. Use karate.
The Brave, or, “I hear Scotland has a real heroin problem”
Ratatoing, or, “Sound effect when Batman throws something over the villain’s shoulder, making the villain think Batman missed, then he laughs at Batman for about three seconds before the thing ricochets back and hits him in the back of the head BECAUSE THAT WAS THE PLAN THE WHOLE TIME ”
The Little Cars, or, “Probably better than Cars 2”
Tangled Up, or, “The Last Hairbender”
What’s Up: Balloon to the Rescue, or, “Hundred bucks says the balloon can talk in this one”
The Frog Prince, or, “My hair looks like a tiara glued to the abdomen of a spider”
These films, or, “What are you doing with your lives, I can hear your souls dying as you watch the animation career you dreamed of die a horrible death as you create images so clumsy your nickname must be Edward Play-Doh-Hands”