May 8 - Our mutual friend Jonathan experiences a panic attack
who are those accursed twinks you bastards keep putting on my dash
realizing that this could mean any character that people on tumblr like
im talking about the goth one and the pink one
He was a skater boy
She said see you later boy
I’m reading Dracula emails
everyone teaches you Oh watch out for peer pressure you're gonna get peer pressured into drinking and drugs and gangs no. You get peer pressured in reading Dracula via emails
hey btw if you wanna read dracula in real time as it happens you can have the chapters delivered to you via e-mail by signing up here:
it's fun
these tags are so funny
#like a lizard you say
I got a lot of beef with the concept of dust. absolutely no reason for something to get dirty just because nothing has touched it. bullshit.
the natural state of the world is producing dust all the time. weathering and decay feeds future growth. dust is just soil with no place to go
it could go outside where dirt goes
if i was a court jester i’d flirt with the king at any given opportunity. subtle at first but if he was interested and we’d share banter then i’d sit in his lap. then he would say i’m the funniest silliest little man alive and kiss me with tongue
how could he NOT fall in love with me though like i am literally there making him giggle, daily. a grown man covered in gold and he is just laughing at my stupid little jokes. i have that bastard wrapped around my finger. He knows it
all part of the plan
Sir you are so right
God what i would give for any man to show me his soft belly
Crop tops
tummy tums
now
personally I don't care if elon actually enforces "free speech", i'd still want to maim him. he could cure me of all illnesses and I would never forgive him for existing in the same realm as me. that's how much I hate elon musk ❤️
the human body is an engineering marvel. I sneeze in bright light. if I dont get enough sunlight on my skin I get tired and sad and have to drink a lot of milk to fix it. standing too much hurts, but sitting too much also hurts. if I get a virus, my body will increase its temperature in an attempt to cook it, which also cooks my brain cells. toenails exist. I have to turn the radio down to see better when I drive. there are 17 genes dictating what my hair texture is, but it completely changes when the air is too humid. yawning is contagious. there are more species of bacteria living in my body than there are species of birds in the entire world. every few months I grievously injure my neck by "sleeping on it weird." it took seven million years of human evolution to form me, and now I'm afraid of phone calls.